Grab your boo for Heart Eyes, the Valentine's Day movie that has it all – romance, a cute couple, beautifully arranged blood sprays, and severed limbs.
Heart Eyes Review
Valentine's Day is the holiday credited to Chaucer but shoved down our throats by candy and card making companies. I know that sounds cynical but I'm not against love, just the idea that you need a holiday to remind you to show someone you care about them. Spoiler alert: you can buy flowers, candy, and say I love you more than once a year. With January finally behind us, 'tis the season for the rom-com. But this year, director Josh Ruben comes with a different sorta offering, something that captures the over-the-top silliness of a classic rom-com and the bloody, gory ridiculousness of a good slasher. Yes I know what you're thinking: this kind of thing does not work… can't work. Well I'm here to tell you not only does it work, it works well giving me the mashup I didn't even know I needed.
Heart Eyes is the Valentine's movie that has it all – romance, a cute couple, beautifully arranged blood sprays, and severed limbs. It pokes fun at both of its genres with a serrated blade to give audiences something bloody as hell, funny, and surprisingly sweet. That means clichés abound which in turn keep this film from being an even mix of slasher/rom-com. It's a play on When Harry Met Sally and Scream, with some Scary Movie sprinkled in for good measure. All in all I would say it leans more into romance than the horror – maybe a 60-40 split – but it doesn't make it any less of an entertaining ride.
Ally (Olivia Holt) is a recently single marketing specialist who just came up with the worst ad campaign for Valentine's Day ever. On her way to work, where she is expecting to be fired, she has a meet-cute with Jay (Mason Gooding) at the coffee shop. Regretting not getting his info, she arrives at the office to learn Jay has been flown in at the behest of the company's owner in order to salvage their reputation. Now the two must work together, setting up the perfect scenario for them to fall in love, except there is one problem. It's Valentine's Day and the Heart Eyes Killer, a mass murder who kills couples, has arrived in town. Mistakingly marked as a couple, the two must fight to survive as HEK carves a bloody path on its quest to slaughter them both.
Looking at Ruben and the writers backgrounds, this type of film is a sweet spot for this team. Writers Michael Kennedy and Christopher Landon have previously worked on Freaky, a horror-themed riff on Freaky Friday. While the third, Phillip Murphy penned Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard. Ruben's background as a comedian, particularly his improvisational skills, works well here to keep the dialogue witty and the jokes coming even as brutal cupid-inspired kills happen. Not all the jokes land, particularly one aimed winky at the Fast and the Furious franchise, but Ruben and crew never dwell on them long enough for you to care. It's right on to the next, which typically finds Holt being snarky while Gooding is sincere.
Speaking of the romantic leads, Holt and Gooding have amazing chemistry whether they are bumping heads (literally and figuratively) or stealing looks when they think the other is distracted. If this was just a romantic comedy you would be 100% invested in these two eventually ending up together. She is the ice queen, with walls built around herself and he's the golden retriever with enough love to melt her frozen heart. On the flip side, you equally want them to survive the night. Fortunately, they are not strangers to the slasher genre, Holt starred in Totally Killer while Gooding has tangled with Ghostface in the most recent Scream films. Both can handle whatever comes their way all while making you care about what happens to them in the end.
Then there is the killer. Some aspects of his (or her) persona we have seen time and again. Slow walking, silent stalking, and pop ups for the sake of throwing in jump scares. However, it is a nice change of pace that this killer isn't relegated to one location either due to laziness, familiarity with the victims, or some weird supernatural reason. Heart Eyes can go wherever the mood takes them. Each year switching up which major city they want to exact some revenge on. The hearts in the killer's mask aren't just for aesthetics, they double as night vision goggles. You can't help but laugh when they light up, because of course they do. It's absurd but in all the best ways. The kills range from gory standard to inventive, although one of the best ones is spoiled in the marketing.
Verdict
Consistently funny, bloody as hell, and sweet, Heart Eyes is the rom-com meets slasher mashup that actually works. Although I wish it had balanced more horror with the romance, I can't say I didn't enjoy it from start to finish. Holt and Gooding's dynamic charms, while the kills get more over-the-top. The laughs are genuine, as is the cringe at some of the clichés, but that is all by design. This is one Valentine's Day movie I can wholeheartedly recommend, as long as your significant other can handle some blood and someone willing to actually DTR.
Heart Eyes stalks into theaters on Friday, February 7, 2025. It is rated R for strong violence and gore, language, and some sexual content with a runtime of 1 hour 37 minutes.
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